KATE DAYCATIONS IN DARKEST BROOKLYN!

Darkest Brooklyn.

Last weekend, I decided to go exploring in darkest Brooklyn with my friend, Adam. It was a lovely summer day, so we headed off to Brighton Beach, known to some as MOSCOW BY THE SHORE due to its large Russian population. As soon as we got off the Q train, we were greeted by what I would imagine Russia would look like if it had a boardwalk: fur stores, borscht emporiums, and signs that look like this: New boyfriends?

My wedding day.

We had a lovely $5.95, 4-course lunch consisting of blintzes, "regular" pasta (aka macaroni with onions...?) borscht, salad (aka coleslaw), and "regular" tea. We were both too scared to try the entree labled "Lazy" stuff cabbage for fear we'd end up eating this:
Worst nightmare.

Then it was off to the beach, which was far more pristine than either of us had expected:
You could eat off that sand.

We almost joined in a "Top Gun"-style volleyball tourny, but thought better of it: The Iceman Cometh...

And though we wanted to swim, there were some signs that worried us.....
"Contributed to"???

So it was off to Manhattan beach, which was more of a rowdy fiesta - aka, just my style.
Even the babies have 'tudes.

Though the locals seemed to have some strange customs....
The HELL?!?!?!

Then it was off to the harbor town of Sheepshead Bay. Where things got a little glamourous:
My scarf, it was was apricot...

Though sadly, the local KofC didn't seem open and/or stocked in what we needed: pina coladas... My first love? Love on the rocks.

At this point, sun-blind and parched, our judgment got a bit blurred, and we weren't sure what was or wasn't a swan. SWANS.
NOT A SWAN.

What we did discover is that we need to move there.
KATE WILKINSON: AT HOME AT THE VIKING

And with that, we headed home, full of borscht and beautiful memories....